The Deep-fried Mars Bar

By Rahul Robertson

Fattening. Repulsive. Or golden soft, warm, chewy wonder sticks of glory. All things you could say when describing this particular Scottish delicacy. I talk not of haggis, nor cullen skink or coq au leeky soup. I talk of that infamous sweet sickly fattening treat that is of course, the deep fried Mars bar. Invented in the Haven Chip Bar in Aberdeen in 1995, you can now find this incredibly unhealthy snack across Scotland, sold in many fish and chip shops in Glasgow, Aberdeen and other Scottish cities. 

They’re made by dipping a Mars bar in the same batter used to batter a cod or haddock, then dropping it into hot oil in a deep fat fryer for a few seconds. They come out greasy and hot, fat seeping into the brown paper bag that they’re put in before being handed over the counter. The melted chocolate often smears the inside of the bag along with the grease stains, and when they’ve been in the fryer for too long, you can see the nougat creeping out of the golden batter casing. 

Now I know that most of you will probably find this completely repulsive and my brief description will not give you any incentive to buy one. It may well do the opposite and make you never want to try one, or hear about one ever again, which actually might be a good thing because each one will increase the risk of a heart attack almost criminally considering how small it is. But I ask you to keep an open mind, the warm delicious sickly-sweet taste is almost unimaginable unless you have one, completely different from a normal mars bar or any other deep-fried snack. The crunchy batter accompanied with the soft chocolate and chewy nougat blends together like a beautiful symphony of sugar and fat. They can now be bought from a fish and chip shop in Belsize Park in North London, and I urge you to try them at least once (though more than one will almost certainly make you feel sick, and after you have one you won’t want another for a week). 

Also for those of you who are more adventurous, there does also exist the deep-fried Mars bar’s more sweet and fatty cousin, the deep-fried Creme Egg, although this is less popular and more unhealthy, so I’d suggest just sticking with the classics.